Remembering

I was out with my daughter one day, after struggling with work calls on my day off and feeling the pressures of work and the mommy guilt that goes with being a working mom, walking in the rain. It was in that very moment, when my daughter and I were walking hand in hand, our umbrellas up, my daughter singing a made up song as we splashed puddles, in that moment I remembered….

You may ask, “remembered what???” Well. for each person it is different, and words do not do it justice. I just remembered to “be”. Children do it all the time and many a guru write and talk about it. I have heard it a million times in a a million different ways… mindfulness, present moment, grounding, etc…

Honestly, I have struggled to bring myself back. My goal since then has to bring myself back to it as much as I can. It is what I have treasured in my mentors. That true sense of peace. I cannot even begin to imagine a life where that is the norm and perhaps that is part of the problem.

I think focusing on positive, present moment and what we want to bring into our lives is the most effective approach, and seems simple…. until it isn’t.

For example, recently I have been struggling with this idea in my professional life due to a colleague who, I see, as consistently working against me. It is true, on the surface. I found myself wanting to “right” the situation by pointing out the facts of the situations, she isn’t following through on her end and mistakes she has made, despite the fact that doing so would further exacerbate the situation. My ego was wounded and I wanted to heal it through pointing out the “truth”. Seemed somewhat justified as it would be the truth claiming my part in terms of issues. However, it would not do me or my company a service in the end. I have been asking the universe to rid me of this obsession, as I have been over and over it in my mind. What I would say, what she would say, what I would say to staff, etc…

Today I read the following, “being impeccable with your word is not using the word against yourself. If I see you in the street and I call you stupid, it appears that I’m using the word against you. But really I’m using my word against myself, because you’re going to hate me for this, and your hating me is not good for me. Therefore, if I get angry and with my word send all that emotional poison to you, I’m using the word against myself,” Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements.

Brought me back as I realized that I would, in essence, be hurting myself by stating anything that was pointed or hateful. So true. The power of her statements melted as I read that. She herself must be suffering, and in the end her statements will hurt herself, more than me or anyone else. Another lesson for me in looking at the “essence” of a situation instead of surface content.